So me, Cole R. Moleson, has had tension (and no not sexual tension. The only pussy they’ve seen is in Health class) with a Twitter group known as Big Computer Mafia. It all started when Twitter user @Uncleposting made a meme about Marxist economist and cum blaster enthusiast known as Paul Cockshott. This lead to many twitter communists figuratively stepping out of the closet but instead of telling their family that they follow professional underwear model Michael Malice on Twitter they instead come out as “Cockshottians” or “Cyber communists”.
Now to be fair many of these people were already in a sense “Cockshottians” but this is when they officially started going by that moniker. Due to this sudden uptick in Penisblast thought, they created a group chat on Twitter with many fellow Penisblasters. However, they added me. Now to the five people (blessed people) who don’t know this, I’m pretty much just an AnCap literally the exact opposite of a Technocrat Cyber Communist.
So why did they add me? I still don’t know. Maybe I’m the one good lolbert. Maybe they wanted someone to hold the opposite view to make the group chat more interesting. or maybe they just added me so I can make le funny in gc. I got no clue playboy.
So with that exposition word garbage, we must now tackle the main question at hand? Why can’t these people get pussy?
I mean they literally base their thoughts on a guy with “COCK” (Shoutout @COCKDOGNATION) in the name.
This question has been pondered by many however I have direct experience in the group chat (because these mfs never stop posting) so I’d imagine my answer would hold more cum.
I’ve been in the group chat since its conception and these “people” are the gayest motherfuckers on the planet. Now, what do I mean by gay. I don’t mean it as an assault against queer people. I don’t mean gay as in something you would call someone in a COD 4 lobby for using Juggernaut. I mean gay as in collecting funko pops gay. I mean gay as the type of people who spend their free time playing any MOBA besides Smite gay.
All these people do in the group chat is whine. WHINE WHINE WHINE. They whine ABOUT EVERY FUCKING LEFTOID who isn’t like them. They post their own QTs in the chat and say “hey can you guys help me get this ratio”.
They post THE SAME FUCKING MARXOID DEBATES SINCE THE EARLY 20TH CENTURY. “ Is natlib good”, “Was x action done by the Soviet Union/other marxoid project justified”, “ should we favor a decentralist method or a centralist method”, “is x movement bourgeois”.
AND THEN THEY GO INTO A FUCKING UC BERKLEY SAFE SPACE REPEATING THE SAME SHIT “why are ancoomers so dumb” “why are primitivists so dumb” “omg this Marxoid guy isn’t a Cockshottian does he want the GOSPLAN back hahahahah” “I hate Damenites” “ LEFTCOM PEDO JOKE LEFTCOM PEDO JOKE” “Tiqqunoids, autonomists, communization types, and anti-party types are so dumb. Have they not considered Donald Parkinson Cosmonaut article?????” “guys Cockshott said something about gay people again :(“ “LMAO MARKKKETOID CRINGE”
SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!!! This article isn’t even a joke anymore. These people are aliens sent from the Red Spot on Jupiter to bring about Dajjal. Once Ray (@MEASURED_HEAD) left the group chat (bless him and also he should go on Not a Podcast) the gc has degenerated into the same mindless dribble.
“Is the anarcho marketoid primitivist autonomist Damenite demons in the room with us right now"?”
All these people do is complain. Occasionally FUCKING OCCASIONALLY someone posts a funny meme or shitpost and it’s usually a 9/10 it’s pretty good. However, I have not seen a group chat filled with more vapid, boring, fucking disgusting people.
Big Computer Mafia is nothing but an internet meme that just won’t die. It’s like a baby who survived an abortion or a war done by the American government. I hate it and I hope every member reverts to a child like in that one movie Sky High so they can stick a fork in an electrical socket so their brain physically does not have the capacity to come up with such horrific views.
To answer the question “Why can't Big Computer Mafia get bitches?” The answer is that they are gay and Reddit.
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Shoutout @tettsuicide
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